Hemal Modi's Diary

I am desperately need something and have been trying my best to patiently wait for it to happen. And looks like I'm not fortunate enough to have it. It has been almost a year and actually rather than improving, the situation has been deteriorating much faster than what I can cope up with. Looks like I'm never gonna have it. I hate today and I will hate the Friday evening that brought down every hope that I had managed to hide in the corner of my heart. I try, keep trying, and will always try, to put a smile on a special someone’s face, just a smile - it would brighten my day seeing him smile. But I never got it back, the same smile, the same dream that I try to put in others. End of the year 2005 is soon approaching and I still long for that smile, that lost dream, that hug, that moment....

My future has always been uncertain and I never complained about it and deal with it as it unwraps. But unfortunately, the person I’m concerned about, seems to think that I have a secure future and I don’t worry about anything and am enjoying my life while he is busy trying to un-sort his life even after two decades of hard work. I know the person is working real hard, but it wouldn’t hurt if he managed to understand that all I’ have been wanting was a smile on his face. I sincerely hope to drag his attention to the other folks that need his attention just as much as his work and his wife.

I resort to writing, diary & blog, to get rid of those hard feeling and once I take off that load, I can smile and make others smile.

It is again one of those sad posts today, that I promised I wouldn’t post on this blog ever again. But I am just losing control and am waiting for a new beginning. Just as season does not stay forever, I am certain things shall change for the better with the coming new year. I’m eagerly waiting for this New Year, new sunrise and a new day that will brighten up his life and my life.