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Saturday, July 30, 2005

 

Change

If it is true that we learn the most when we make the biggest mistakes then in the last six months I have learnt a lot. My uncanny indifferent and impassive behavior got me into a lot of trouble. I made a very bad mistake. I don't ever want to make a mistake like this again. I looked back at my life in an attempt to figure out why I am the way I am. I feel there was something amiss.

A few incidents in the recent past have upset me and now I realize that I am probably picking on myself. So no more rants here on and I shall try to portray the bright side of "This American Life". With the new perspective I now have, I can see clearly all of the wonderful things that were always a part of my life. Besides, you know, there were more that were wonderful than were not. And if it took a lightning bolt for me to see that, then so be it.

Joining my job had actually taken me away from my friends and left me feeling very lonely and alone. I had a sudden sense of panic and a felt I had fallen so far behind in life, I might never be able to catch up. Now I realized the mistake I had made all of these years was to spend all my energies on the academic and intellectual pursuits I was already good at and yet I could only make small incremental improvements at, while avoiding the things I wasn't very good such as social interaction despite the opportunity to make great improvements in these areas if only I spent a little time at them.

Becoming aware of my weakness and having a strong reason to want to change may allow me to overcome my weakness and hence we shall see a different Hemal from here on.

FYI: I just saw the Hindi movie "Anand" and that ignited this change in me.

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